We're a hot mess of contradictions and compulsions in need of the gathering power of community and the communion table.
We've all experienced it to different degrees. You get hooked on something. Maybe it's something harmful that numbs your mind and destroys your body — your sauce, your squeeze, your smoke. Perhaps it's something praiseworthy that energizes your body yet destroys your soul — chasing that runner's high, intensive diets, or entertaining yourself to death.
Compulsions are intoxicating.
Have you ever noticed what happens when you beat one compulsion? Another fills the void. The alcoholic turns workaholic. The sexaholic turns one-clickaholic.
We become the kind of down-and-out people like St. Paul when he says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do" (Romans 7:15).
We're a hot mess of compulsions and contradictions — seemingly enslaved to our desires.
"Who can rescue me from this body of death?" - Romans 7:24
Community and the Communion Table
We grant our compulsive desires power to talk us into contradicting our value systems because of deeper desires at play.
We long for safety and love.
And the East-of-Eden absence of intimate pleasure with God spins us into a self-induced pain cycle of shame, fear, and guilt. And so, we embrace a compulsive way to silence the dark trinity’s condemning voice.
Yet love calls us home.
To reach love, we have to step through our shame, guilt, and fear. We must turn on the light of honesty and walk into the light of communion. At first, this intimacy — that we want and fear — could trigger that old itch to hide. Yet, we'll learn that being known and loved is better than being hidden and impressive.
When you get discouraged, remember the compassion of Christ. Recall that you've spent your whole life figuring out how to cope. Now you're learning a new way.
You can't think your way out of your shame, guilt, or fear.
You can't will your way out.
You can only relate your way out.
In God’s time, you'll come home. To light and laughter. To community and the communion table. To family and your Father.
May you find the courage to become the broken brave — to be known and loved.
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